Since I am working on the upcoming concerts of Bartók Rózsái Énekegyüttes, and I am also busy with adjusting my life to my new job as a help at home (which I am enjoying very much, and I will talk about it later in another entry), just a short one for you. And don't worry, I am working on another, longer entry as well, but that's not ready yet and I am still not sure whether I should post that or not... Instead of posting that half-baked entry, I will talk about the rules of life, which I compiled recently and I would like to keep it as short as possible, because the more rules you have in your life, the less flexible you get. But before that, let me share with you a little pleasant surprise I've experienced yesterday night...
Yesterday night I was practising The Aspiration by Henry Purcell, a piece I have been studying for almost two years now, ever since Evelyn Tubb suggested me to learn it after I brought to her masterclass another completely unknown piece by Purcell, The morning hymn. The mentioned pieces have the same character, and they are to be found in the same collection, the Harmonia Sacra. Both of them are dealing with sacramental-religious subject and their texts have a sort of penitential after taste (the typical, I worth nothing but God still saved me, so I sing joyfully to him, and stuff like that), and their style is rather monodic, demanding the performer to forget about beautiful melodies. So, I was practising and studying this piece for a while and though I am pretty good at pieces like The Aspiration it still gave me a difficult time whenever I tried to actually sing it, but yesterday (or sometime before that) something happened and suddenly I was able to sing it with much less vocal problems, and finally I could forget about reminding myself about breathing through at certain passages where I earlier always felt my breath simply stops (probably because I was concentrating too hard). I was able to begin to work on the small details, and it was great! I mean... recently I have been practising, because I wanted to go on, but I wouldn't say it was all pleasant and nice. I went on, because I wanted to and not necessarily because I enjoyed it. Oh, how many times Heent told me to enjoy singing a bit more than I seem to! And back then I wanted to enjoy it, but it's not... You cannot enjoy something because you want to enjoy it, but you can keep up the good work and later it will pay off - maybe... or maybe not; who knows?
But back to rules of life! I have a little list on my wall (I burnt the rest of my lists I hanged on my wall after I moved out from my former room), and it contains seven short rules. Now I will share them with you, maybe it will be useful for some of you as well...
1. The nose is meant for smelling.
(Not to bump it into other's life and business.)
2. The mouth is for eating.
(Not for spreading gossips and bad-mouth about others.)
3. The lips and the tongue are for sweet words, kissing and pleasure.
(Again: and not for spreading gossips and such... see above)
4. The hands are for grabbing your opportunities.
(Not for anything else stupid, like any violence...)
5. Only one may have access to the lagoon of mysteries.
(Yes, it is in the language of flowers, but it basically means: don't mess around too much, it won't do you any good.)
6. Self-loathing is just as unhealthy as biting your nails.
(I think, this one speaks for itself.)
7. It is better to fall in love than in despair.
(This is the refined version of an earlier wise-crack we always used with a best friend of mine, which says: it is better to fall on a guy than to fall for a guy - this wise-crack "was born" after I fell on a guy as the tram suddenly stopped.)
Showing posts with label Evelyn Tubb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evelyn Tubb. Show all posts
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Dare to be daring, darling (part 1)
Something happened to me in the summer of 2013 in Finland.
In January 2013 after a masterclass with Evelyn Tubb, she suggested to apply for a summer course in Finland, so I applied, got accepted and went there, though every sane reason told me to do the opposite: I went financially broke by that time (even more than any student could be; couldn't pay my rent and the last months of tuition fee at school), and I should have worked through the whole summer including that life-changing week at Sastamala Gregoriana (which I actually did in the end, but for that week I tried to be a musician and not giving a single f*ck about my financial situation). But in the end, with the help of my family I got to Karkku (fortunately I could pay for the course from my master budget), and then - comparing to what I have done this year - I was running around like a poisoned rat: to workshops and from there to the masterclass session, from masterclass to practise and from practise to workshops, and I really tried to keep the meal schedule as well. Tried sauna but didn't really work out for me (this year I figured, I should have jumped in that lake next to the sauna) and got just as stressed out at school. I thought that the time for socializing is a waste of time and I was really thinking I would be able to learn everything there. Now I know I tried way too hard, I pushed myself too much towards knowledge and at the same time because of pushing myself too much I couldn't enjoy the surroundings and the company of the rest of the participants to the fullest. Of course I talked to them, but I couldn't give them the attention they deserved, because I had an unsolved problem with myself, I was restless and I put myself under the pressure of producing good results.
Still, miracolously, I did unexpectedly well on the concert. For the first time I felt that the stage is entirely mine, I have good contact with the instrumentalists performing with me, and they also inspired me very much during the performance (I was singing a solo cantate by Pepusch, When Love's soft passion). Afterwards I've got such compliments I have never even had imagined to get before (now I am getting more and more of them). On top of that Evelyn Tubb told me that even if I didn't do everything as we agreed on the general rehearsal, it was good what I was doing up there (and hearing such a compliment from her prickeled something up in me), but she also said that I will have to work on my technique to support my ideas on stage and that I have to find the singer inside me. The whole week slowly began to make sense and the surroundings cast a spell on me in the last few hours I spent in Karkku. I was crying like a little kid when I had to leave (I think I've scared the sh*t out of Hanna Graeffe, who gave me a lift to the train station). After this rush of emotions a day passed and I understood: I was reborn in Karkku at Sastamala Gregoriana. I had several singing lessons and Alexander technique sessions in Budapest after this summer course and many things just went a bit better. That was the time when I began to experiment and play around with my voice a bit more and truly trying to explore the limits of my vocal abilities. I don't know what exactly have changed, but I wasn't the same person anymore when I returned from Karkku.
I kept on searching for the singer inside me and also my real voice (not the one I imagined I have, but the way it would really sound), and this process started an avalanche of events and now I am here and writing this entry, encouraging all of you to dare to be daring. Of course I have skipped a whole series of things that happened to me, but if you'd ask "Gosh, just what happened to you in the past months?". Well, I would smile a little and my answer would be only this: "Life happened."
In January 2013 after a masterclass with Evelyn Tubb, she suggested to apply for a summer course in Finland, so I applied, got accepted and went there, though every sane reason told me to do the opposite: I went financially broke by that time (even more than any student could be; couldn't pay my rent and the last months of tuition fee at school), and I should have worked through the whole summer including that life-changing week at Sastamala Gregoriana (which I actually did in the end, but for that week I tried to be a musician and not giving a single f*ck about my financial situation). But in the end, with the help of my family I got to Karkku (fortunately I could pay for the course from my master budget), and then - comparing to what I have done this year - I was running around like a poisoned rat: to workshops and from there to the masterclass session, from masterclass to practise and from practise to workshops, and I really tried to keep the meal schedule as well. Tried sauna but didn't really work out for me (this year I figured, I should have jumped in that lake next to the sauna) and got just as stressed out at school. I thought that the time for socializing is a waste of time and I was really thinking I would be able to learn everything there. Now I know I tried way too hard, I pushed myself too much towards knowledge and at the same time because of pushing myself too much I couldn't enjoy the surroundings and the company of the rest of the participants to the fullest. Of course I talked to them, but I couldn't give them the attention they deserved, because I had an unsolved problem with myself, I was restless and I put myself under the pressure of producing good results.
Still, miracolously, I did unexpectedly well on the concert. For the first time I felt that the stage is entirely mine, I have good contact with the instrumentalists performing with me, and they also inspired me very much during the performance (I was singing a solo cantate by Pepusch, When Love's soft passion). Afterwards I've got such compliments I have never even had imagined to get before (now I am getting more and more of them). On top of that Evelyn Tubb told me that even if I didn't do everything as we agreed on the general rehearsal, it was good what I was doing up there (and hearing such a compliment from her prickeled something up in me), but she also said that I will have to work on my technique to support my ideas on stage and that I have to find the singer inside me. The whole week slowly began to make sense and the surroundings cast a spell on me in the last few hours I spent in Karkku. I was crying like a little kid when I had to leave (I think I've scared the sh*t out of Hanna Graeffe, who gave me a lift to the train station). After this rush of emotions a day passed and I understood: I was reborn in Karkku at Sastamala Gregoriana. I had several singing lessons and Alexander technique sessions in Budapest after this summer course and many things just went a bit better. That was the time when I began to experiment and play around with my voice a bit more and truly trying to explore the limits of my vocal abilities. I don't know what exactly have changed, but I wasn't the same person anymore when I returned from Karkku.
I kept on searching for the singer inside me and also my real voice (not the one I imagined I have, but the way it would really sound), and this process started an avalanche of events and now I am here and writing this entry, encouraging all of you to dare to be daring. Of course I have skipped a whole series of things that happened to me, but if you'd ask "Gosh, just what happened to you in the past months?". Well, I would smile a little and my answer would be only this: "Life happened."
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